Honestly

I have been wanting to write on the blog for a few weeks but haven't had time with my mom's hip replacement.
I don't even know where to start...

I love this time of year, the weather, the holidays approaching, the pumpkins and smells! But it has been difficult for me to see pictures of everyone's children plastered all over Facebook with the pumpkins and the family portraits. It makes me want our child to be here, to be able to take him/her to a pumpkin patch, to take family pictures and plaster them all over Facebook too! I knew the adoption process would be a journey, but it is hard for me because instead of being excited to becoming a new mom, like every mom should be; We are struggling to find fundraiser ideas, and  begging people to help us financially. I dislike our whole focus being on money, money, money. But, it kind of has to be if we will ever be able to bring this child home! I'm not the kind of person who likes to ask for help, and especially to ask people for money! This is hard for me and the only reason I continue to push forward is for our child whom is waiting on us to bring them home!  I've been anxious ever since we sent in our $2000 for the home study, which left our Adoption fund extremely low and left me wondering what in the world are we going to do? I don't want to sound ungrateful, because I am extremely grateful and we couldn't have come this far without everyone's help. We will continue to move forward,  trusting in God and knowing that he will continue to provide just as he has so far. We have a picture on the wall that says, "The will of God will never lead you where the grace of God cannot keep you." We believe that! :)

Another speed bump has been that when Allan lost his job in December, he was unable to get insurance until he started at Biltmore and a few months after he got insurance he had the endoscopy and colonoscopy and now the insurance is saying that because it was more than 63 days before he got insurance that everything is considered a pre-existing condition meaning they aren't going to pay for any of it. That leaves us with $15,000 in medical bills! We are overwhelmed, but continue to "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not depend on your own understanding, seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take" Proverbs 3:5-6.

 We can't do this by ourselves, we are exhausted, we are anxious and overwhelmed! We just continue to give it to God, he is in control not us, we will continue to seek his guidance in what we need to do and trust in Him because HE is all we have! I just ask that you please pray for us during this time. This too shall pass! Thank you.